In Jamaica, the term "island time" was all about taking it nice and slow, easy does it, and who needs a watch anyway?
In the mountains, time and again I've found that time doesn't seem to slow. There are no tides to watch or sand to run your toes through... there isn't a pulse of life to ponder just beneath the surface. Nothing here to pattern your heartbeat after, nothing to calm the noise like a mother's breath or soothing lullaby.
Mountain time seems not to be a slowing of time. Time seems to stop altogether. Completely.
For hours, the sun resides behind the giants who've called this place home longer than I can imagine. The clouds come and go, up and down the mountainsides but only for a little while. Angel fire might remind you to slow down and take a breath or two, but she's gone before you can grab your camera or a nearby loved one. She's a rogue visitor, and gone before she matters much.
The mountains stand unchanged, unmoved, unyielding in their power and strength. All you can do, really, is look at them. It's awe-inspiring to see their heights and know you could never just stroll on up there on a casual whim. These beasts aren't so easily taken. Their mysteries are ancient, hidden and not carelessly given away. Even a wind whisper from the glorious ranges don't tell the full story. Such rumors only tease and tempt the wandering soul.
For several minutes, at least, I took in their vastness. Sipping tea slows time, but sitting beneath a majestic mountain range blurs it all together... a seamless breath that can't be held or controlled. You can literally forget it's there, this requisite labor of mere mortals. So truly, time stands still. As do they.
I'm taking the day to enjoy stopped time. My much needed inner improvements will just have to wait. Wait for tomorrow... that is, assuming that time moves forward and tomorrow comes after all.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
lopez family values
There are some changes going on in the Lopez household. Some dear friends reminded me recently that such is our time... our lifestyles are affected in ways I can't always understand but I do know that I hate to feel I am going backward. I grew up in a home where my parents were ever moving forward, and continue to do so today. They wanted and worked for "better" for us; who -- including me -- doesn't want that for their children?
It's been a while since I've had to be this aware of the dollars we spend and the way we make use of our resources. And in reality, this isn't a bad thing. For my personal life, I believe I always should be mindful of: what we're spending, how and where we're spending, what's coming in, what's going out, what can be let go, what we can share, what we can sell. I'm a minimalist, so why do I need three pairs of running shoes, especially since my running habit is sporadic at best?
Less meals out and more meals at home benefits us in MANY ways, but sometimes I don't like to cook. Sometimes eating out is just more "fun" or convenient. Or is it? Eating out means we each have to get dressed and out the door, which is sometimes easier said than done! Eating out means we have to choose a place with limited options; sometimes we are SO indecisive, it drives me nuts! Ultimately, eating out means we usually have to pay double or triple the amount of what it costs to eat at home.
Where I live is awesome. I love the people, the scenery, the schools. I wouldn't change it. But sometimes, just sometimes, I can get caught up in the "desperate housewives" of it all. Oh, how I love the women and fellow moms I've met. I'm not calling any of them desperate. I've met amazing, intelligent, generous, creative and loving housewives and working moms. But just because Mom X gets a manicure every week or has a maid or drives a *enter AWESOME car here*... just because these are the realities of some of the people around me, this may not be my reality. And that's more than OK. I've never been prone to jealousy, but I think it's easy to just SEE and WANT without even realizing it! Not only that, but these "things" are just that... THINGS. The REAL and GOOD stuff? Aw, man. I feel I have way beyond my portion in that area: healthy and brilliant and beautiful kids; an amazing, kind, patient, generous, hard-working genius of a husband; WONDERFUL friends, both here and where we're from (Waco); extended family always ready to help, support and give whatever we need. These "things" are the ingredients of a "good life," not the car, the mansion, the trips, the stuff. Not that I don't like a nice, new car or a fabulous handbag (boy, do I!), I just have to monitor where my eyes and thoughts and, ultimately, heart go.
These changes are good changes. Having to remind oneself of what matters most is GOOD. Evaluating my values is good for me and my family, as well as the world at large. I'm just another human on the planet, but today I am a more mindful human than I was a month ago. Today I am reminded to guard where I place true value and worth.
It's been a while since I've had to be this aware of the dollars we spend and the way we make use of our resources. And in reality, this isn't a bad thing. For my personal life, I believe I always should be mindful of: what we're spending, how and where we're spending, what's coming in, what's going out, what can be let go, what we can share, what we can sell. I'm a minimalist, so why do I need three pairs of running shoes, especially since my running habit is sporadic at best?
Less meals out and more meals at home benefits us in MANY ways, but sometimes I don't like to cook. Sometimes eating out is just more "fun" or convenient. Or is it? Eating out means we each have to get dressed and out the door, which is sometimes easier said than done! Eating out means we have to choose a place with limited options; sometimes we are SO indecisive, it drives me nuts! Ultimately, eating out means we usually have to pay double or triple the amount of what it costs to eat at home.
Where I live is awesome. I love the people, the scenery, the schools. I wouldn't change it. But sometimes, just sometimes, I can get caught up in the "desperate housewives" of it all. Oh, how I love the women and fellow moms I've met. I'm not calling any of them desperate. I've met amazing, intelligent, generous, creative and loving housewives and working moms. But just because Mom X gets a manicure every week or has a maid or drives a *enter AWESOME car here*... just because these are the realities of some of the people around me, this may not be my reality. And that's more than OK. I've never been prone to jealousy, but I think it's easy to just SEE and WANT without even realizing it! Not only that, but these "things" are just that... THINGS. The REAL and GOOD stuff? Aw, man. I feel I have way beyond my portion in that area: healthy and brilliant and beautiful kids; an amazing, kind, patient, generous, hard-working genius of a husband; WONDERFUL friends, both here and where we're from (Waco); extended family always ready to help, support and give whatever we need. These "things" are the ingredients of a "good life," not the car, the mansion, the trips, the stuff. Not that I don't like a nice, new car or a fabulous handbag (boy, do I!), I just have to monitor where my eyes and thoughts and, ultimately, heart go.
These changes are good changes. Having to remind oneself of what matters most is GOOD. Evaluating my values is good for me and my family, as well as the world at large. I'm just another human on the planet, but today I am a more mindful human than I was a month ago. Today I am reminded to guard where I place true value and worth.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
family book club, TAKE 2
We just had our second family book club meeting. Dad and Mom sipped on beer and wine while the boys had water. Everyone shared a passage from their book of choice, then answered questions and took comments from the group. It was a wonderful time; all the while, Johann Sebastian Bach filled the quiet spaces with his magic. Wonderful!
My boys are getting so much out of this, even if they don't see it yet. I enjoyed hearing them read aloud; they still do this sometimes, but most reading around here is per individual. They took comments and questions with grace and confidence. And when it was the grown-ups' turn, I could see them paying attention before offering up their own insightful commentary and inquiries.
Whatever family time you choose to do, I encourage you to do it with all your heart and with a light-hearted approach. Keep expectations and distractions to a minimum. I'd also suggest keeping criticisms at bay. As our children learn to find and hear and share their own voices now, it might be easier to do this when they're older... when Mom and Dad aren't around to help drown out the noise of a big world that probably isn't as concerned about their reading prowess as I am.
My boys are getting so much out of this, even if they don't see it yet. I enjoyed hearing them read aloud; they still do this sometimes, but most reading around here is per individual. They took comments and questions with grace and confidence. And when it was the grown-ups' turn, I could see them paying attention before offering up their own insightful commentary and inquiries.
Whatever family time you choose to do, I encourage you to do it with all your heart and with a light-hearted approach. Keep expectations and distractions to a minimum. I'd also suggest keeping criticisms at bay. As our children learn to find and hear and share their own voices now, it might be easier to do this when they're older... when Mom and Dad aren't around to help drown out the noise of a big world that probably isn't as concerned about their reading prowess as I am.
family book club
January's focus in the Lopez home is called Family Book Club. Last week, we met over dinner at home and talked about the books we're reading, the authors of these books, and their topics. Getting the conversation on reading and books wasn't too hard because literature in all forms is a big part of life around here. My boys have been in a family book club since before they took in their first bit of air.
Dylan shared a little about Diary of a Wimpy kid. He's actually a "better" reader than this, but I'm letting them go with what they want in the moment. Reading is reading, right? My son David is working on his second Harry Potter book, while Dad is making his way through Telling Lies, a book about detecting deception. I chimed in about my first Stephen King novel, 11/22/63.
This week, we're each supposed to bring along and share a passage from our books and tell what impacted us or stood out about these. For my boys, it's a venture into new territory but I'm hopeful it will add to not only their love of books and reading, but also to their ability to engage in conversation, sharing opinions and ideas.
For more information about our monthly family focus endeavors, check out the post two below this one!
Dylan shared a little about Diary of a Wimpy kid. He's actually a "better" reader than this, but I'm letting them go with what they want in the moment. Reading is reading, right? My son David is working on his second Harry Potter book, while Dad is making his way through Telling Lies, a book about detecting deception. I chimed in about my first Stephen King novel, 11/22/63.
This week, we're each supposed to bring along and share a passage from our books and tell what impacted us or stood out about these. For my boys, it's a venture into new territory but I'm hopeful it will add to not only their love of books and reading, but also to their ability to engage in conversation, sharing opinions and ideas.
For more information about our monthly family focus endeavors, check out the post two below this one!
Friday, January 13, 2012
my mom's tortillas
My mother rolled her way out of the picking fields when she was about 12 years old. Her large family, along with extended relatives and fellow migrant workers, spent harvesting time in Indiana each year. Of course, this disrupted school and she later had to earn her GED, but that was life and she didn't have many choices. And while they did work in the north, there was no shortage of heat and discomfort when working to gather tomatoes.
So when her father told her to get into the kitchen one afternoon and start making lunch, she happily obliged, got to rolling what have truly become her famous homemade flour tortillas, and she never looked back.
Decades later, she would tell me this story when -- while waiting anxiously to top a fresh-from-the-comal tortilla with stick butter -- I asked just how she managed to make the most perfect tortillas in the world.
This story is the basis for many other stories I want to pass down and along from my mother. Stories of how her life, in a much simpler time with much less opportunity, molded and shaped her into the woman she is... a strong, generous, orderly and gracious woman. As she likes to remind us, her mother and father were not "educated," but they taught her a thing or two about manners, cleanliness and social awareness. First thing that comes to mind from her varied list of one-liners: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
And so when we visit Mom or she comes to Austin (although she has so very much to offer as a person and she gives it freely), unless there is that obvious aroma of heaven-on-earth lingering in the air, the unspoken question lurking around the house somewhere is usually something along the lines of, "Are there any of Mom's tortillas?"
So when her father told her to get into the kitchen one afternoon and start making lunch, she happily obliged, got to rolling what have truly become her famous homemade flour tortillas, and she never looked back.
Decades later, she would tell me this story when -- while waiting anxiously to top a fresh-from-the-comal tortilla with stick butter -- I asked just how she managed to make the most perfect tortillas in the world.
This story is the basis for many other stories I want to pass down and along from my mother. Stories of how her life, in a much simpler time with much less opportunity, molded and shaped her into the woman she is... a strong, generous, orderly and gracious woman. As she likes to remind us, her mother and father were not "educated," but they taught her a thing or two about manners, cleanliness and social awareness. First thing that comes to mind from her varied list of one-liners: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
And so when we visit Mom or she comes to Austin (although she has so very much to offer as a person and she gives it freely), unless there is that obvious aroma of heaven-on-earth lingering in the air, the unspoken question lurking around the house somewhere is usually something along the lines of, "Are there any of Mom's tortillas?"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
family focus 2012
For 2012, my family and I are embarking on new territories by way of structured chance. At the beginning of each month, we'll draw a focus theme out of a hat (or bowl or cupped hands; whatever). For that month, this theme/activity/challenge will be our family focus. I put together 12 things we either haven't done together as a family or are new to most or all of us. It seemed like a fun way to stay connected and grow and learn together in a year that some spook-theorists claim will be our last on earth!
There isn't a formula for all of these, though I have some fun ideas for some. We left off music, hiking, movies, travel, sports, and other things that already have our family interest in a big way.
We're starting the year with "Family Book Club." We've met to discuss what books we're reading and what we enjoy about these books and reading in general. And we have an assignment for our next meeting: bring a passage from your selected reading and share it with the group; tell why you like the passage as well as what you take from it.
Here are the other 11 monthly focuses we'll be taking on in 2012:
* Fashion and Style (Didn't I say we're venturing into new territories?)
* Survival / Emergency (My husband will no doubt be a big help with this one.)
* Facing Fears (Should be interesting!)
* Outdoor Adventures (Because we all love the outdoors already, this should be a way to enjoy them in new or less explored ways... kayaking, camping, gardening?)
* Food / Cooking (My son always wants to help in the kitchen and because I'm not a big fan, I always manage to wiggle out of anything that prolongs the task of cooking. Maybe I'll be inspired!)
* Art (This will specifically focus on the arts we don't participate in or experience, namely drawing, painting and sculpting.)
* Family 5K (There are some specifics here. We walked/jogged our first 5K as a family this past summer in Del Mar, CA. but the challenge here would be to choose a 5K and then focus on training to RUN it.)
* New Places (Not so much just new cities, but also the many places we've not been to as a family in our own city. This could include restaurants, shops, museums, parks, etc.)
* New Sports (We love our baseball and football around here. Ideally, we'll try some new things -- tennis, anyone? -- and maybe find a new love or two.)
* Website, Blogging, Networking (Like it or not, it's the future's wave and we'll possibly create a family site for documenting our life, like monthly family focus time!)
* The Beatles (While this is a music theme, I decided it's an outright shame that ALL FOUR of us have somehow managed to get this far in life with little to no knowledge about the Fab Four. And we call ourselves music fans!)
I've heard from a number of friends that our long family road trips have been inspiring! Perhaps this little at-home way to adventure can encourage you to seek out new paths for you and your loved ones in 2012.
There isn't a formula for all of these, though I have some fun ideas for some. We left off music, hiking, movies, travel, sports, and other things that already have our family interest in a big way.
We're starting the year with "Family Book Club." We've met to discuss what books we're reading and what we enjoy about these books and reading in general. And we have an assignment for our next meeting: bring a passage from your selected reading and share it with the group; tell why you like the passage as well as what you take from it.
Here are the other 11 monthly focuses we'll be taking on in 2012:
* Fashion and Style (Didn't I say we're venturing into new territories?)
* Survival / Emergency (My husband will no doubt be a big help with this one.)
* Facing Fears (Should be interesting!)
* Outdoor Adventures (Because we all love the outdoors already, this should be a way to enjoy them in new or less explored ways... kayaking, camping, gardening?)
* Food / Cooking (My son always wants to help in the kitchen and because I'm not a big fan, I always manage to wiggle out of anything that prolongs the task of cooking. Maybe I'll be inspired!)
* Art (This will specifically focus on the arts we don't participate in or experience, namely drawing, painting and sculpting.)
* Family 5K (There are some specifics here. We walked/jogged our first 5K as a family this past summer in Del Mar, CA. but the challenge here would be to choose a 5K and then focus on training to RUN it.)
* New Places (Not so much just new cities, but also the many places we've not been to as a family in our own city. This could include restaurants, shops, museums, parks, etc.)
* New Sports (We love our baseball and football around here. Ideally, we'll try some new things -- tennis, anyone? -- and maybe find a new love or two.)
* Website, Blogging, Networking (Like it or not, it's the future's wave and we'll possibly create a family site for documenting our life, like monthly family focus time!)
* The Beatles (While this is a music theme, I decided it's an outright shame that ALL FOUR of us have somehow managed to get this far in life with little to no knowledge about the Fab Four. And we call ourselves music fans!)
I've heard from a number of friends that our long family road trips have been inspiring! Perhaps this little at-home way to adventure can encourage you to seek out new paths for you and your loved ones in 2012.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
just call me Mrs. Clean...
I've always been interested in birth order studies. Recently, I've had some clarity about my own complexities because I've come to discover that I have typical characteristics of both a baby of the family (which I am) and an only child or firstborn (because my sisters are six and eight years older than me). This is why I am competitive and seek to please people, which flies in sometimes direct opposition to my free spirit and often times laid back approach to people and old-fashioned rules.
But one thing about me that I cannot shake -- that I dare not be rid of -- is a love for cleanliness and order. I married someone who isn't naturally inclined toward these traits, and I've benefited from this. He has taught me to ease up and relax when my controlling nature would rather harp on something just a little bit longer. Having two young boys, I've taught myself to enjoy being with them rather than spending every waking hour cleaning up after them (though sometimes, I regress).
Still, I love to clean! And damn proud of it! Granted, I can get lazy at times. Sometimes I wish I had a maid come and do it all (I think I haven't committed to this for several reasons, one being that I actually, truly do love to clean my own house myself!); other times, I pray that at least one man in this house would take after me in this department! The older I get, the more I tend to want things "just so" when it comes to cleaning... I want no interruptions, I want to clean MY way and as I choose (so I spend an hour on a spice cabinet... who cares?), and I want to do it myself and usually alone without someone else's "help" (because if I waste time telling you how to do it, trust me, that is no help!).
Today, I started to tackle my less than spotless house. The dust has been berating for weeks, while the carpet... OH, that blasted carpet. I am counting the days until we can pull it up once and for all! My boys are going to get their own room each, if only for a sense of order when it comes to their toys, books and clothes. I love my sons, but I'm done with this house being a community-wide dwelling place. Sure it's OUR house, OUR home... but their stuff shouldn't occupy lots of space in the dining room, sun room, living room AND their bathroom, playroom and bedroom. Enough is enough! They are older now, not babies anymore. Time to contain their belongings to basically one space each (and a shared bathroom), PERIOD!
My task is a big one... try as I might, I get virtually no help in this department. My children rarely remember on their own to put things back from whence they came. My husband -- a hard worker AND student -- does well to keep up with the weekly trash and occasional car and outdoor task; he also likes to cook on occasion. Laundry, dishes, all basic and deep cleaning, picking up, organizing of any kind, etc. falls on me and me alone. And I am so grateful that I love to clean.
So, I'm no cook. I don't craft. My skills are not in the shopping or decorating or PTA arenas. But oh, how I love to clean and care for and organize my home! I'm not especially fond of cleaning toilets, but there is a real sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in taking care of what is mine and what I've been entrusted to care for, even if it means I eventually have to do it (at some level or another) all over again tomorrow!
But one thing about me that I cannot shake -- that I dare not be rid of -- is a love for cleanliness and order. I married someone who isn't naturally inclined toward these traits, and I've benefited from this. He has taught me to ease up and relax when my controlling nature would rather harp on something just a little bit longer. Having two young boys, I've taught myself to enjoy being with them rather than spending every waking hour cleaning up after them (though sometimes, I regress).
Still, I love to clean! And damn proud of it! Granted, I can get lazy at times. Sometimes I wish I had a maid come and do it all (I think I haven't committed to this for several reasons, one being that I actually, truly do love to clean my own house myself!); other times, I pray that at least one man in this house would take after me in this department! The older I get, the more I tend to want things "just so" when it comes to cleaning... I want no interruptions, I want to clean MY way and as I choose (so I spend an hour on a spice cabinet... who cares?), and I want to do it myself and usually alone without someone else's "help" (because if I waste time telling you how to do it, trust me, that is no help!).
Today, I started to tackle my less than spotless house. The dust has been berating for weeks, while the carpet... OH, that blasted carpet. I am counting the days until we can pull it up once and for all! My boys are going to get their own room each, if only for a sense of order when it comes to their toys, books and clothes. I love my sons, but I'm done with this house being a community-wide dwelling place. Sure it's OUR house, OUR home... but their stuff shouldn't occupy lots of space in the dining room, sun room, living room AND their bathroom, playroom and bedroom. Enough is enough! They are older now, not babies anymore. Time to contain their belongings to basically one space each (and a shared bathroom), PERIOD!
My task is a big one... try as I might, I get virtually no help in this department. My children rarely remember on their own to put things back from whence they came. My husband -- a hard worker AND student -- does well to keep up with the weekly trash and occasional car and outdoor task; he also likes to cook on occasion. Laundry, dishes, all basic and deep cleaning, picking up, organizing of any kind, etc. falls on me and me alone. And I am so grateful that I love to clean.
So, I'm no cook. I don't craft. My skills are not in the shopping or decorating or PTA arenas. But oh, how I love to clean and care for and organize my home! I'm not especially fond of cleaning toilets, but there is a real sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in taking care of what is mine and what I've been entrusted to care for, even if it means I eventually have to do it (at some level or another) all over again tomorrow!
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