big boys

Marriage, chess, anatomy and questions of faith... these are the topics around our house these last few days, brought up by our newly turned 7- and 5-year-old sons. I've been blown away by their questions and interests lately. They've always challenged me to stay sharp, but when my 7-year-old wanted to type out his nocturnal animal project and kept his fingers on the "right" keys, I was blown away. I didn't even know he'd played around with a typing program at school to add to the practice he had with my husband long ago. Amazing!

More than just impressed, I am reminded that their knowledge and questions and intellect will only grow in the years to come. Am I doing what I need to do in order to stay competent? Can I keep up with their insatiable hunger for learning new things and taking on new challenges? Am I giving life my best so that I can give my children my best? Are my activities benefiting my spirit, mind, heart and soul so that I actually have something within me to give back to them?

In the deepest parts of my being, I believe I am "called" to be Mother, if only for the fact that I AM Mother, and that I chose to be Mother with an open eye. I believe it is my ultimate responsibility to be all I can be for my children, specifically during their childhood days. For me that means playing a balance game that few people ever get just right: protecting while allowing independence, knowing when to be hands-on and when to be hands-off, holding their hands and letting them soar (or fall), teaching them myself and letting life be the teacher sometimes, and challenging them while keeping life sweet and simple for as long as I can.

Like every mother before me who dreamed of "getting it right," I wake up everyday keenly aware of my shortcomings. I step over these on my way to make breakfast for these boys who are ever becoming men.