live. and let live.

I think I've been pressured to be more than I am. Not as far as what I do for my family or how I contribute to society or even the ways in which I serve at church. Being in the middle, trying to be fair and practicing tolerance has -- on both sides of any given issue -- taken on a negative feel. My Christian faith is still alive and kicking, but I know that many a fellow Christian would deem my stand on many things as "lukewarm." And any Christian knows that the term "lukewarm" is as damning as any other anti-God term. I'm serious. The Bible teaches that to be lukewarm is to be detestable in the mouth of God.

Is my middle-ground lukewarm? Who is to say this? God assigned who exactly to be my judge and jury?

At the other spectrum, I'd be labeled fanatical, holy-rolling and "Jesus freak" if I were to tell others about my faith. God forbid I offer a blessing and/or prayer to those around me who don't share my faith. But then, why is this wrong? Aren't these open-minded types the very people I should feel 100 percent comfortable around? Isn't that the true meaning of liberalism?

And yet, I think my comfy little middle-ground is not supposed to be a good place to reside. Or at least not good enough. I care about the hungry, the environment and my children. Chances are, however, if I'm not in missions or if I don't keep my non-plastic grocery bags on hand all the time or if I don't have THE perfect balance of mother-wife-woman, I'm deemed a failure.

Still, why do I (we) care about the opinion of others so much? Just about the time we are taught as Christians to shrug what the "world" thinks, we are told to "guard our testimony." It's about as easy to maneuver as a minefield. Thirty years after the first time I gave a damn, I find I still do. And I work not to! How do I work, though?

So I'll take my seat there in the middle row, toward the middle of the isle during a nice, somewhat adventurous indie comedy with just enough romance and suspense to keep the crowd happy. Yeah, that's me. I'm the one holding the popcorn and sneaking in Skittles because while I'm all for abiding by the rules, I'm also keenly aware that all that candy from Easter is going to go to waste if we don't find a reason to eat it some time or another!

An editor I like called himself "tolerant" when it came to religious identity. And really, the Jesus I learned about and claim to follow was AT LEAST this. He TOLERATED the sin, the short-comings and the hiccups of others. Considering that I don't claim holiness, and I wasn't born of immaculate conception... why the heck shouldn't I be tolerant, too? Call me whatever. They don't call it a comfort zone for nothing. And what the heck is wrong with a little inner peace after all? Someone pass my comfy blanket... AND the popcorn tub.