change

The first rule of CHANGE is... you can only change yourself.

The second rule of CHANGE is... REALLY get that first rule into your head!

Some people (many of them married or parenting children) spend a great deal of time and effort trying to change other people. Ultimately, it is a futile waste of time and you'll often end up with someone who's even that much more determined NOT to change or who has made changes (at least on the outside) but at the cost of resenting you (often buried on the inside and waiting to come out in unexpected ways). You may find that you can have great influence on someone, but that's usually when you aren't even trying. When it comes to change, we can strive to change a person, a government, a people or the world, but the only change we can ever succeed at 100 percent of the time is within ourselves. (When the completely unexpected occurs, we can move to a place where we accept and work around the things we can't control but that might seem to dictate how we live our lives, even if this means we alter our perception of the world around us.)

That we can only ever really change ourselves is a beautiful concept about change that I think people don't like to face. But in reality, it is the most perfect and harmonious of qualities about change. Whatever I might think is wrong with the world, I must first alter within myself. For example, I know that sodas aren't good for much of anything. My kids already don't drink them very often, but there were times when we had the occasional 12-pack on hand. But the fastest and easiest way for them to drink even less came the day I decided to stop drinking them myself. In reality, that part wasn't hard, ONCE I DECIDED TO ADOPT THIS CHANGE FOR MYSELF IN A REAL WAY. Everything else came pretty easy after that, too. My children get a soda when we eat out (which is also less and less these days) and the drink is included in their meal. And I know they enjoy it when they do, but they don't miss it in the day-to-day living. Such is the effect of change.

Whatever you are wanting for yourself, you have to know by now that only YOU can make this happen. You may find a great deal of help in the form of prayer, support from someone else or others, motivational readings or positive thinking. But in the end, if you want to lose weight... ONLY YOU can do the exercise and/or take in less calories; if you want to read more, ONLY YOU can pick up that book and read the words; if you want to connect with others, ONLY YOU can do your part by calling or writing someone today.

It is NOT always easy to actually get the ball of change rolling. But when you factor in the concept that you can only control the changes YOU make -- and therefore eliminate the stress and complications of trying to get OTHERS to do as you want -- it actually makes things a lot less difficult.

And the beauty of it all is that you have everything it takes within yourself at any given time (any time of day or day of the year) to make change a reality. You will likely have to overcome all kinds of obstacles (isn't this always the case?) but nothing and no one can get in your way when you determine once and for all for yourself that change is required. You -- and only you -- really can make the changes you need to in your life.